A Strange Conversation in Hazzard Square
by GrayWolf84
Summary: One March morning, the Duke boys have a few words with a wolf in Hazzard Square...and not the four legged kind. This ain't your average MarySue! [OneShot, Quite silly]


**Author's Notes: Okay, so this one came out of one of my sillier moods. I suppose I gotta work all that silliness out before it gets into one of my regular stories.My next one-shot I promise is much more serious - well, normal, if not serious. Enjoy!**

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**A Strange Conversation in Hazzard Square**

**This Monday morning in Hazzard dawned bright and fine, and the Duke boys, as usual, were out and about, running some errands in town for their Uncle Jesse. It's a beautiful spring day in March, perfect for strolling through town and having a look at the sights - meaning them pretty little ladies Bo an' Luke are smilin' at across the street.**

It was the Samuels sisters, Helen and Ann, which Bo an' Luke hadn't seen in a month of Sundays. Bo was taking a step in their direction, when an odd sound caught Luke's ear, and he turned to look.

"Bo, look at that," Luke gestured, hitting his cousin's arm to get his attention.

Bo hesitated, his grin faltering as the Samuels girls waved goodbye and walked away. A little annoyed, he turned to follow Luke's gaze. "What, Luke?"

Luke was curiously watching a figure stomping out of the Hazzard County Sheriff's Department, slamming the door behind her. Bo looked from the girl to Luke and back. She certainly wasn't Luke's type - auburn hair tied in a neat ponytail, plainly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt decorated with a black wolf, hiking boots, and a fierce temper by the sound of things. She was growling angry curses at Rosco none too quietly. She took a few steps towards the road, where a tan four-door was parked, with New Hampshire plates, then turned around, ready to charge back into the sheriff's department. Then she stopped again, sitting down on the short steps, and slammed a fist into the stone.

Luke looked more amused than romantically interested. "Let's go see what Rosco's done now," he said, and set off down the sidewalk. The Samuels girls gone, Bo followed, a bit curious himself. "What's wrong there, little lady?" Luke called when they were in hearing distance.

The girl looked up, and the black scowl left her face when she saw them. "Aw hell," Bo distinctly heard her swear. She stood and headed straight for the car, but Luke jogged forward a bit.

"Hang on, now!"

She stopped at his call, and turned with a resigned expression.

"Is there somethin' we can help you with? Ol' Rosco can be hard to handle, for an out-of-towner like yourself. I'm Luke Duke, an' this is my cousin…"

"…Bo," she finished for him, hesitantly accepting his offered handshake.

Both boys looked surprised, and Luke asked, "And you are…?"

"I'm…Lynn. Call me Lynn."

"You're an awful long way from home, Lynn," Bo remarked, looking at her car. It was packed to the gills with boxes and some luggage, and a road atlas lay on open the front passenger seat.

"Just passin' through - at least, I was, until I spent the night here last night, and met one J.D. Hogg." She had a definite Yankee accent, though with an odd slight drawl.

Luke looked at her with one eyebrow cocked. "You're staying in Hazzard because of Boss Hogg?"

Lynn scowled again, though not at Luke. "Not on purpose!"

"Well, what happened, then?" Bo asked.

"He _stole_ my…my stories," Lynn finished, trailing off to a mutter.

"Your what?"

"My stories," she repeated, a bit louder.

Bo looked at Luke. "Why on earth would he do a thing like that?"

"Why on earth does J.D. Hogg do anything?" Lynn answered, "To make money, of course! And stupid Ros-co _P._ Col-trane refuses to do anything about it!" she sulked, imitating Rosco's voice.

Something wasn't making sense here to Luke. This young lady seemed to know an awful lot about what went on around Hazzard. Only one way to find out, and that was to ask more questions. "What kind of stories are they? Like, books?"

Lynn turned beet red. "They're…they're fanfiction stories."

"_Fanfiction?_"

"Yes, and I was gonna post them when I got back from breakfast, but when I got to my hotel room, they were gone! And I heard Boss Hogg walking by outside, saying something about making thousands selling scripts to someone in California, but they aren't _meant_ to be published or anything, they're just for fun! He must have seen me working on them last night at the Boar's Nest."

Luke looked down at her t-shirt and squinted at her suspiciously. "Do you go by the name of GrayWolf84?"

The girl nodded, blushing a deeper red.

Bo looked from Luke to Lynn again, gaining that same suspicious look. "Hey now - do you mean _you're_ the one that wrote those stories and got us into all that trouble?.! My danged shoulder's been giving me problems for four months now because of you!"

"And my leg," Luke added sourly.

Lynn crossed her arms stubbornly, unexpectedly on the defense. "And I got you _out_ of that trouble, and made sure your bills were all paid for, too! It ain't my fault that gettin' you two in trouble makes for a wicked good story!"

Luke frowned, hardly reassured, but Bo looked up thoughtfully. "So, was that you or me that came up with that plan to catch those crooked FBI agents in November?"

"Ah, let's go with _you_, on that one. I was pretty sick at the time, definitely wasn't thinking straight enough to come up with a good plan like that."

Bo grinned, pleased, and hit his stubborn cousin's arm. Luke softened a bit. "Those were good stories, even if we got busted up a bit," he admitted.

Lynn grinned for a moment too, but then frowned again. "Yeah, but there ain't gonna be any more any time soon if I can't get the new ones back from Boss."

"Aw, that's no problem," Luke waved it off, "All we gotta do is convince Boss he won't make any money off them, and he'll give them back."

"That ought to be easy, no one's gonna buy any scripts, the show's been off the air for eighteen years," Lynn said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Nothing!" she realized her words. They were silent for a moment, standing on the sidewalk, before Bo spoke up again.

"By the way, how come we don't get any car chases in your stories?"

Lynn grinned, looking at the bright orange General Lee parked down the street. "I'm sorry, Bo, I just haven't managed to work one in yet. Besides, you're such great drivers, there's hardly anything new to say - either you get away, or you get into an accident, and I know you don't want that!"

Even Luke had to smile at the compliment, while Bo agreed that he certainly didn't want that. A sight just beyond their shoulders made Lynn groan again. "Oh no."

Both Dukes turned to see two men coming down the sidewalk towards them. One was tall with short blond hair and a sharp, intent face, while the other was a little shorter, with dark curly hair and a Cuban cast to his features. Both had seen and recognized Lynn, and she was a little pleased to see both Bo and Luke take defensive postures between her and the two strangers.

"Excuse me, miss? We'd like a word with you," the dark-haired man called.

Lynn put a hand on Luke's shoulder, and both boys looked back at her. "It's alright, they're…they're good guys." As the strangers walked up, Bo and Luke stepped back to give them room. "Bo and Luke Duke, meet Trent Malloy and Carlos Sandoval," Lynn introduced with resignation. All four men shook hands and exchanged greetings, before the newcomers turned to look at the young woman.

"We've been looking for you for months," Carlos, the dark-haired man, complained.

"Years," Trent corrected. The Dukes raised questioning eyebrows.

"You know she's a fanfic author?" Carlos asked them. When they both nodded, he went on. "Well, you watch out for her, then. She's rough!"

"We noticed," Luke commiserated.

"She burned my apartment down, had me chasing my own tail on a triple-homicide investigation, never let me get any sleep, our friends were ambushed and captured…" Carlos counted off on his fingers.

"Had someone break into my house," Trent added.

"…Gave me a concussion, shot at me, blew up my car, made me get in an airplane, made me get on a horse…" Carlos continued.

"Kidnapped me in the middle of the night, and I believe you were going to have my brother shot," Trent accused, "But you never finished the story!"

Four sets of eyes rested on Lynn, who held up her hands beseechingly. "Listen, I…I…"

"You blew up his _car_?" Bo asked, the safety of the General Lee clearly in mind.

That snapped her out of speechlessness. "I'm not gonna blow up the General, Bo," she said in an exasperated tone. "Look, Trent, Carlos, I'm sorry, but that was six years ago, and I don't even _think_ the same way any more! The readers are just gonna have to use their imaginations. I work very hard now to make sure I finish all of my stories, and pretty danged quickly too, if I do say so myself! Bo, Luke, I _promise_, I never kill anyone off, and I never make anything happen that I can't fix somehow, even if you don't know it at the time. Haven't you seen that so far?"

"Well, yeah…" Luke had to agree.

"Hey, what about girls?" Bo asked suddenly. "You fixed us up with Helen and Ann, but they left us, and so did Claire Dunney, and Charlotte and Selena framed us, and then got killed…"

Lynn laughed. "Sorry, Bo - I don't write much in the way of romances. Besides, there's a few other authors who've already got your love life quite well covered."

Carlos nudged Bo. "Sorry, man, she refused the same for us, too."

Luke chuckled, shifting his feet. "Well, if you're gonna get back on the road, we better go talk to Boss Hogg about the stories he stole. I hope the next one isn't too hard on us," he added, with a stern look that distinctly came from Uncle Jesse.

Lynn smiled. "Oh, no, the next one is positively fun. The one after that, wellll, no promises."

"Any car chases?" Bo asked hopefully.

"We'll see. And Trent, Carlos, I really am sorry, I'll try to give it an ending if I post it online again."

The two Texans thanked her and said their goodbyes, and set off in the other direction as Lynn walked with the Dukes back into the sheriff's department. With their help, it was a short matter getting Lynn's stories back from Boss. Bo tried to peek at one before he handed the pages to her, but she lightly slapped his hand away. Back outside, they stopped at the driver's side of her car.

"Thanks, guys. I appreciate the help. I better get going, if I'm gonna make it to Colorado by tomorrow night."

Luke was surprised. "This is a bit of a detour, driving from New Hampshire to Colorado."

Lynn smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, but it was well worth it. Now, don't you two need to get along to the post office?"

Luke looked at her suspiciously again. "Yeah, that's the way we were headed, why?"

"Oh, just a feeling. Take care, now!"

Both Dukes waved goodbye as she drove off, though somehow they were sure it wasn't the last they'd hear from the young author. Then Bo shrugged, and turned down the sidewalk towards the post office. After a moment, Luke followed, curious to know what would happen next.

**Now that has to be the strangest conversation I have _ever_ seen, even in Hazzard County. **

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**The End**


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